“Look in thy glass and tell the face thou viewest,
Now is the time that face should form another,
Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest,
Thou dost beguile the world”- William Shakespeare
I have a glass face.
It means that whatever I feel or think can been seen clearly on my face. It also means that I’m a shitty liar, and highly emotional. Some people call it empathy, others have called it attention seeking.
I’ve realized that I could count the number of people who actually know me on my hand. The rest have made judgements, observations and accusations about who I am, what I believe in and have labeled me everything from manipulative to confrontational.
Now let’s straighten this out, I don’t believe in bullshit, I don’t believe in small talk and I don’t believe in being fake. My ability to call a turd, a turd has put some people off me.
I have never been purposefully hurtful, intentionally ill-willed, or elitist. All things I’ve been boxed with.
What I’ve come to understand is that people don’t like truth, they don’t like authenticity. We call it ‘tall poppy syndrome’. People who have insight into their own behaviors creates anxiety for those that don’t.
So for years, I asked myself, “what’s wrong with me?”, “what have I done?”, “How can I be better?”. And for years I bashed myself up over it, considering all my personality flaws and creating a great insecurity about my worth as a human being.
I now realise that I don’t have the energy to convince people of my sincerity, I’m less inclined to invest my time in toxic relationships and those that know me, well, they know.
You may have read this and thought, ‘this is a particularly arrogant perspective’ but I implore you to read it again with an open heart and ask yourself the same questions.
Do you invest in relationships that make you question your value? Does your authenticity, truth or idiosyncrasies get you in trouble?
This is not to be confused with outright narcsisim, self importance, or envy.
It’s to do with knowing who you are and not being afraid of your voice. Knowing that you come from a loving stand point. That you give and receive with love, and accepting that some people just aren’t ready for that, and that’s okay too.
I’m a girl with a glass face.