Promises Unkept

I never wanted this for us.

I never wanted to live my life, have my adventures and grow without you. I never thought I would give up, I never thought I’d let go, I never thought we’d part.

The time I spent loving you are the memories I hold dearest. Watching you frown, listening to your laugh, touching your skin, you are my favorite memory.

Your embrace has been my sanctuary and that I will not forget.

I vowed that I would give you everything. I can solemnly say that I have. There is no more. I know, I’ve searched.

I want you to know that your name is never far from my lips, and always whispered in prayer. I pray that life will bring you happiness. With every step, you will be blessed. This I am sure.

With all that I am I will it.

It brings me joy to know that on this earth there is a soul that recognizes mine, and that soul is yours. A soul that soothes, a soul that dances, a soul that shadows. A pulse, a beat, a rhythm.

You should know there is no anger, or guilt or resentment. There is only the memory of us, of the things we were, the places we’ve been and the dreams we shared.

I haven’t forgotten. I could never.

I know that I’ll miss your even temper, cry for your smile, and reach for your strength. But I trust that time will heal us.

She will not wipe clean the depth of our adoration or the undeniable pull that connects us, but she will help us to love fearlessly in the next.

I made you promises that I could not keep. For that I am sorry.

You made me whole when I was nothing but mist and mold. You gave me roots, and your words gave me sunshine. This I will not forget.

You were my compass, and now I’ve found my way. I never thought my path would lead me from you.

But I promise you this. And this one I’ll keep.

When the sun sets in the East I shall find you. On that day, our stars will align, the winds will howl and night will become day,  the past will fade and we will have another life. Another chance. Another day.

This time, just you and I.

Until then, know that the tears that die upon my cheek are yours.

You are everything you need to be.
I have always loved you.




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