Core Issue

Body Positivity is a force to be reckoned with. It is a movement of women deciding to love their bodies exactly as they are.

How absolutely ridiculous? That we need a movement in order to accept ourselves. The mind boggles.

If you opened the newsfeed on my Instagram you would see pages and pages of beautiful women, all shapes, all sizes and all feeling themselves. It’s a joyous epidemic and one I desperately want in on.

Most days I feel like a hard ’10’. Sexy, sultry, cute, curvy, soft and totally stunning.

Other days I feel like the spawn of a troll. Too big, too wobbly, too bumpy, too tense, too short, far too flawed to be of worth. A flea, a beetle, a worm of a woman.

It is a sick seesaw ride I’ve been on my whole life. I want to land in love but before I know it I’m swung into the air and floating around in absolute disgust.

Like most women I hate my stomach.

It’s too wide, it’s not narrow , it’s not flat and despite what health professionals tell me, I know for sure there are no abs underneath that soft jiggle. I’ve spent hours pouring over images of perfect bellies, watching core workouts, drinking poison, starving myself, and beating myself down, all in vein. As a result of all my efforts, the stomach may have grown, or shrunk, or even stayed the same and still I hated it.

Core strength my ass!

But seriously, I hate the part of my body the houses my internal organs. The part that holds my womb. The part that nourishes me. The part that once connected me to my Mother. My life source.

How could I ?

I’ve come to know that there are enough people in the world who would like nothing more than to tear you down, don’t make their job easier by joining in.

I’m not preaching, I mean, let’s be real here, I’m struggling to live by my own principals. But abusing my body cannot be the best way to live. This I know for sure.

Last night I danced in front of the mirror for an hour, in nothing but panties. That’s how long it took me to think of something nice to say . That’s how long it took to feel comfortable in my skin. That’s how long it took to enjoy myself. That’s how long it took to see beauty in the way my body moved.

In light of my new found commitment to the Body Positive Movement I’m determined to wear what I want, when I want, and to spend all summer days in not much more than a sarong.

Join me ladies. Your legs, your arms, your ass, even your stomach, let it all hang out.




3 thoughts on “Core Issue

  1. Kia ora Ra,
    Great read, one that I can totally relate to. Especially the ‘jiggly puku’. Just a heads up – it’s so, so much harder to rectify when you’re at my well-weathered age. I agree, love yourself completely and while Im not big on letting it all hang out, I have been able to master the art of disguise!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Aunt,
      I think I’m taking the stance that so long as I am genuinely caring for myself and my well-being, my body has every right to be exactly as it is. Nothing to rectify and nothing to fix. I agree, letting it all hang out won’t be for everybody. Kei a tena, a tena ona ake whakaaro. xx


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