Can you see me?
I know you’re looking but what do you see?
I’m speaking, can you hear me? Are you listening?
I’m not the girl that will worship at your alter or that girl that will lie upon her back and give herself freely. I am not the girl that giggles mindlessly, bats her eyelids and twirls her hair for your attention. And I most definitely am not the girl that will be led blindfolded to a life she did not intend.
I am not that girl but you didn’t see.
I am the woman who would whisper your name as dawn descends and in time whose arms would open just for you. I am the woman who would embrace the scars upon your soul and soothe your pain with her own. I am your sergeant in arms, the nurse by your bed and the food for your soul. I needed only time. Time enough for you to see.
Look inside me. Look past the shell and stare into the storm. Ask yourself, do you see her? Not your image of her, do you see the woman behind the smile? Do you see depth beyond the shallow? Is the view worth the climb?
Can you see her?
You chased me into oblivion and offered sanctuary. You gave my words melody and my thoughts a home. When my fingers clasped yours I wanted to look inside you. So, I stood in the chaos of your world. I stroked the walls that surrounded your truth but when I got a glimpse of light, of shadow, of complexity or depth you drew the blinds and lead me away.
Patience I told myself.
I searched for substance and you fed me lies. You exposed me like a toy and you locked me out. But you had invited me in, so I banged upon the door and begged time.
While you imagined life with a girl who wears my face, the woman that I am called your name. You didn’t recognise the voice because you don’t know the girl.
When I came up for air I knew you were drowning. In my attempt to save you I felt the claws in my back and your hand across my mouth.
Only then did I realise you were playing a game and I didn’t know the rules.
This tryst has taught me the power of seduction, of pursuit and persistence. That he who would be it’s master would sink his control into your mind. You didn’t see me, so I found my voice and roared.
One day, the world will bring you a woman whose hunger for you will heat your blood and breathe life into the embers of your passion. She will alight every shadow and set ablaze your fear.
When she comes to you in her glorious imperfection don’t just look. See her.