I want to keep it in. To ignore the impact.
I want to forget you.
I want to wipe every memory of your laughter, the feel of your touch and your breath against my ear. I want to erase every moment you looked upon me with awe and desire.
I need to forget.
Being with you awoke my tired soul. You were water in a heat wave and sun to my petals. You saw beauty in my chaos and as I was set to destruct you held out your hand and my world stopped spinning. You kissed away my sorrow and paved the way for new. You swept me into your arms and let me be, accepting every day that she may change, that she may run and some days she may only hide.
Your devotion seeped into my pores and inflamed the dying embers of my sanity. In you I saw hope.
But the world will never know our story. We kept it a secret. A promise that all we have between us will always be ours. No one will ever know how intertwined our souls truly are. No one will know how perfectly my hand fits in yours and no one will ever know that the sound of your breath as you sleep at my side is music to my heart.
All of that doesn’t matter now. You made your choice.
You let your past poison us. You let it corrupt our happiness and bleed into our light. You let the parasite jealousy infect your mind and the virus insecurity plague your heart.
I wanted to save us.
I wanted to fall into you and make you my paradise.I wanted to hold you to my chest and dream of vows of forever.
I asked you to remember.
Remember the hopes I kissed across your body. Remember the nights we worshipped and the morning’s embrace. Remember the darkness, the light and the whispers. Remember, it’s me.
I see now that I can not be the dressing for this wound. I can not soothe your agony or chase away your terrors. I can not massage your heart and blow away the fears. It lives inside you and I can not pry it from your body because I have tried with all my might. I cannot.
I know we were too much. I know that my spirit is too wild and that you were afraid. I mourn you, I mourn every dream we didn’t fulfil and every plan we’d never spoke but I know why you did it.
So I ask, when the shadows come to take you, or when the clouds part and a new light walks in. Remember me, remember that you deserve the love we had and you will find her power again.
So we go back.
We go back to being strangers. The world never knowing that we were on the cusp of greatness.
It is not our time and we may never get another but your love saved me and for that I’m eternally grateful, thank you.