The sun shone today. It was bright and warm and suddenly everything felt better.
I once heard somebody say that you should count your blessings. Isn’t that the most unhelpful thing you’ve ever heard in your whole life. I have since cut that person from my inner circle.
I know, I’m dramatic.
But you see, all struggle is relative.
If it is important to you, if it torments you, if it makes you uncomfortable then it is indeed significant.
Or so I tell myself.
I’ve made it no secret that life has not been a warm summer’s day, pipless olives, clear skin, romantic strolls or lotto winning days as of late. But the storm feels like it has passed or is passing and now I’m in the rebuild phase of post destruction and devastation. Fingers crossed, and three ‘Hail Mary’s’
But I do have a few learnings that you may find useful, or at the very least pleasant to read.
Life Lessons from a dysfunctional human, is what I’m calling it.
In the order it comes to mind and not in order of importance, here it goes:
- Play music, as much and as often as you can. Play the heartbreak, cry into the pillow, sing into the hairbrush. Play the angry, storytelling, gangster rap. Play the peppy pop tunes and the slutty, ‘pussy’ music. Play it all, you will be rejuvenated through the magic of melody. Give your life a soundtrack and make it the best.
- Dance. Seriously, dance. Whenever you can. Dance in the car, dance in the shower, dance when good news comes. Dancing is a physical celebration of life and you should do it more. We all should.
- Keep your space clean. I am rolling my eyes as I write this because cleaning is the bane of my existence but it remains arbitrary number 3 on the list. My days always felt better when my space was tidy and when it wasn’t, my whole world felt and looked like it was falling apart. Messiness exacerbates sadness. Believe me, you don’t want to feel worse.
- Get out of bed before 8am, says the hobby sleeper. No jokes, if I don’t get out of bed early my whole day slows down. The motivation to seize the day will dissipate and the energy levels go with it. Set your alarm and leap out of bed with purpose. This is still a work in progress.
- Set goals. Being a classic A type personality this is my favourite. Life is not worth living if I am not working towards something great. I have both an obsessive and an addictive personality so I don’t recommend making this your “be all and end all” as I have, but having a vision for your life gives you a reason to keep on keeping on, as they say. Career goals, personal goals, recreational goals, financial goals. Give yourself light at the end of the tunnel.
- Indulge. Living by strict rules is torment when your heart is broken. Get the treats, buy the flowers, wear the dress, watch the movie, take yourself to dinner, book that ticket, go to that concert, kiss the boy. Indulge yourself in the things that truly bring you joy.
- Reinvention. Change your look. Get a haircut or colour. Throw out the clothes that don’t fit. Don’t hang on to that bikini you know damn well you’ll never be caught dead in. Chuck it all out! Keep only what you love, what makes you feel amazing. Because in case you have forgotten, you, you are a work of art.
- Purpose. Do everything with purpose. Get up, wash and get dressed with purpose. Walk like you’re going somewhere. Lie in the sun, eat ice cream, speak and listen with purpose. Making a conscious decision to do anything gives you a sense of power. And so often I’ve felt powerless.
- Cry. If you want to, you should. It’s okay. Remind yourself that it will pass. Nothing lasts forever, except a tattoo so don’t do that today. But once you’ve dried your eyes, flick your hair, wipe the mascara and handle yourself. Nobody can walk this road but you.
- Rebuild. Rebuilding takes time. They will be set backs and your dignity may take a hit or in my case, three. All you can do is dust yourself off and rebuild. Build your kingdom and keep building it no matter how many times it’s burnt down.
There are a million more things that this year has taught me. Honestly you don’t know the half of it. But as I am determined to never experience this again, learning the lessons are paramount.
The biggest of them being that perseverance is what moves you from day to day.
Put one foot in front of the other and pray that you don’t fall and if you do, laugh then pick up the pace and march. One day, and one day soon, you’ll run.