This may be the most important letter I ever write. The gravity of it has me for once, speechless. But to you I am compelled to write. You who consumes every waking thought. You who fills me with wander and hope. You who instills a most mortal fear, that I am not infallible. My daughter. [...]
What did she say?
Sun or stars
Today I was asked why I write so many deep, sad things. Why I share these feelings and experiences. Why I let pain bleed into my testimony. It's a loaded question, he was asking why I didn't share my happiness as frequently, as passionately or as fiercely as I do the struggle. Why choose the [...]
Unprepared
I have been seriously considering my overall readiness to be a mother. I've been taking a mental inventory of my note worthy abilities and soft skills, I may or may not have had to refer to my CV for prompting. But it has suddenly dawned on me that once I give birth to my daughter, [...]
Sit Still
I hate endings. I find goodbyes emotionally traumatic. I find all things final incite grief. Naturally, break ups take a massive toll. So much so, I have only ever had two relationships, and I am dealing with the casualties of leaving the second. I ask myself constantly, why does heartbreak seem to affect me longer, [...]
Destitution
I watched a news report that described my town as 'destitute.' Destitution is defined as being both extremely poor and not having the means to provide for ones self. Seems like quite a statement to make about a place they clearly don't know. Ruatoria is a great many things, but helpless is not one of [...]
Not Mine
Why do I write about you? Why do thoughts of you consume me? Why do I feel your absence? Why does the memory of you torment me? Why? When I know that you are not mine to love. Not now, and maybe even ever. You marched into my life so certain, I never thought to [...]
Closure, the Myth
Relationships should make you feel good and when they don't, it ends. Simple right? But what if it ends and you don't know why? What if you have questions? If you have feelings you want validated and actions you want explained. How will you be reassured that you were significant, that your love mattered, that [...]